Wednesday, December 31, 2008

If you live in a snowy climate, you will understand AND appreciate this Diary!

Diary of a Snow Shoveler 

December 8: 6:00 PM. It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses Print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow! 
December 9: We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the Whole World? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had. Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snow plow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life. 
December 12: The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry, we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. I don't think that's possible. Bob is such a nice man. I'm glad he's our neighbor. 
December 14: Snow, lovely snow! 8" last night. The temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish I wouldn't huff and puff so. 
December 15: 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Explorer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all. 
December 16: Ice storm this morning. Fell on my rear on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like crazy. The wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel. 
December 17: Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room. 
December 20: Electricity's back on, but had another 14" of the stuff last night. More shoveling. Took all day. Snowplow came by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying. 
December 22: Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white stuff fell today, and it's so cold it probably won't melt till August.  Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter; but he says he's too busy. I think he's is lying. 
December 23: Only 2" of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she ... nuts??? Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did but I think she's lying. 
December 24: 6". Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch that guy who drives that snowplow, I'll drag him through the snow by his hair. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was busy watching for the snowplow. 
December 25: Merry Christmas. 20 more inches of that white slop tonight. Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. 
December 26: Still snowed in. Why did I ever move here? It was all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves. 
December 27: Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze.  
December 29: 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am? 
December 30: Roof caved in. The snow plow driver is suing me for a million dollars for the bump on his head. The wife went home to her mother. Another 9" predicted. 
December 31: Set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling!!! 

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

I Have Blon Roots

No, my title is not a typo--I really do have Blon roots.  Blon is my maiden name.

All of you lovely ladies with blonde hair out there, please do not take offense!  I mean, we all have a "dingy" moment or two, don't we?  It's just that in America, it's been connected to yellow hair.

This has worked in my favor, since my maiden name is Blon.

I'm a rather thoughtful girl, but I guess sometimes I try just a little too hard.
Like the time I asked my brother how old he was when he was born.....

Or the time my dear friend Brenda closed her fingers in the trunk of my car after we unloaded our groceries.  Our conversation went something like this:
Brenda: Josanne, I closed the trunk on my fingers!
Me:  (While finding the right key, and needing to be on the other side of Brenda to unlock the trunk), Ok, move!
Brenda: I can't!

And then there was the time that Brenda was telling me about her Aunt Lily.  Aunt Lily and her best friend Penny were not on speaking terms, due to some sort of conflict.  Apparently, it was pretty serious.  My subconcience must have held this information without my knowing it.  
During this period of time, Brenda had a Pampered Chef party, inviting friends and family.  So naturally, I went, since Brenda is my dear friend!  
Upon entering the home, I see Aunt Lily sitting across the room.  Happy to see this friendly aunt that I've enjoyed knowing, I say rather loudly(remember, I'm across the room), with much enthusiasm...
"Hi Penny!!!"
Uh....would you believe I accidentally called her Penny AGAIN that evening?

Really, now!  These were HONEST mistakes!!!
But it's moments like these that I find it necessary to mention that I have Blon roots.  Can you see the nodding heads of sympathy looking my way?  It seems to help during the times when I make BIGGER mistakes, such as the time I was certain that my lovely sister-in-law Sherrie was a year younger, and I tried to convince her too....okay, she is married to my brother, so she understands.....        

Saturday, December 27, 2008

I love my cat!

If there is one thing my friends and family know about me, it is this:

I love my cat!

My beautiful, royal baby Jasmin.

She didn't really start off as my cat.  After her stray mama had Jazz, her brother and sister under my house, my hubby and son "rescued" them.  Our home then became a funner, busier place.  

I thought my pet days were over, but after finding homes for two kitties, my sulking children and rather "blue" hubby persueded me to keep our little girl.  Mind you, I've always loved cats, but decided in my heart that I would have no more pets after we lost our dog.

I sometimes have to deal with sulking children, but when my Dan is sad too, that tugs at my heart more than I can bare!  

So as you can see, Jazz is really my hubby's cat.  But I usually claim full ownership of her-she's my baby!

Our two year old girl has become a pampered princess!  Running to the kitchen each morning for her daily canned food(dry food left out during the day isn't quite the same, she feels), joining us in the restroom for fresh water out of the bathtub spigot, the manual rotating door she enjoys, and at least 3 anxious family members who drop what they are doing to pick her furry self up are a few perks to living in our household.  

Let me share the perks I get from her .  One thing is when I give her my undivided attention.  It isn't uncommon to find me crawling across the livingroom carpet to lay next to her, to give her the attention she so deserves for being such a wonderful cat.  In return, my baby gets up and walks approximately 3 feet out of reach, and lays back down.  I think she must be claustrophobic.  

This lovely creature also lets me know when to let her in our bedroom during the night.  Usually it is around 3-5 a.m.  Since Dan doesn't like any light to show in the room when he is sleeping, we often shut the door.  When I hear scratching that won't stop, I know it's her, desiring my love and devotion.  When she is feeling very lonely, she sounds more like a brick being thrown against my door.   So what is a cat mommy to do?  Yes, she has been known to stand next to my sleeping body and cry loudly until I pet her.  It lets me know that she loves me so much, she just can't wait until daylight for my love!  

She's also been known to find her toys in our room, in the wee hours of the day, and bat them around like an escaping mouse that can fly.

The "toy toss" is usually the only thing I can't handle.  Since we are both brought to conciousness when Jazzy wants to play, it is then that I remind Dan that she is his cat.  But the rest of the day, she is mine.

Can't you just feel the love we share?  Along with my family, my life is complete with Jazz, and I feel like the most blessed woman in the world!