Sunday, September 27, 2009

It's a Jungle Out There!!!

Dan and I have one topic that comes up every so often that gets me shouting out my defense statements to friends-my history with wildlife.

Maybe Dan just likes to impress our friends! Maybe he thinks we'll have more friends if he tells them how his wife has survived multiple attacks by the most viscious beasts known to mankind. Whatever the case, I am here to tell you the REAL stories!

As Dan likes to tell it, I was attacked by a lion, bitten by a boa constricter, and mauled by a monkey.

But what REALLY happened are these events:

1. The lion...

When I was little, I lived in Akron, Ohio, and there was a pet store called Tanks a Lot. Anybody else remember it? They had a cub in their store named Peaches. Since I was only about 6 or so, she was about as big as me when she was on her hind legs.

One day, they had let Peaches out of the cage, and she came over and jumped on me! No, I wasn't hurt, she was just being a playful cat who happened to be my size!

2. The boa constrictor...

When I was in fourth grade, we had a man visit our class with a huge snake. I was a bit squeamish with that HUGE thing in the room, so even tho I was sitting at the time, I was able to quickly jump to my feet.

When the man and his slithering friend came to my group of desks, that MONSTER of a worm swung his head right in my direction! I saw it coming, so I jumped out of my seat and moved just in time--the snake's head swung right to where I was sitting! I was nearly kissed by a snake!

3. The monkey...

Again in grade school, I do believe it was 5th grade, I had my encounter with a monkey.

Our school had a carnival, and we had a man visit with his pet monkey. It was so cute--with his little outfit and all.

This little furry thing was permitted to climb on us students, and he climbed about shoulders. I wanted him to climb on me too, so I stuck out my hand for him to climb up my arm....

Instead, the monkey BIT my hand! It really did!

Well, it's probably good that I didn't decide to become a vet in my adult life! With my history, I'd probably get the wrong kind of reputation!

"Yeah, that Dr. Anthony-would you believe she claims that she was attacked by a lion, bitten by a boa, and mauled by a monkey? Next, she'll be claiming a bear swiped her side, a coyote bit her toe off, and she had 17 porcupine quills stabbed thru her heart!"

I guess it's a good thing that being bitten by a mouse once is such a small thing-Dan doesn't bring that story up too often. Maybe he forgot....

Funny tho, I don't tell everyone that Dan has rabies after he got bit by a RAT!!! I'll have to tell you about that story another time.....

Have a great day!