Having a Most Unforgettable Wedding

Ahh.....love is in the air, and we'll all be seeing weddings in churches across the land throughout the beautiful spring and summer months, with beautiful colors and handsome groomsmen-the occasional chance when glancing at church steps as you go about your activities each weekend.

A country wedding I attended last summer comes to mind, and I thought that the plaid cowboy shirts with cowboy hats on the groomsmen was a nice personal touch to the wedding, since the groom was a bullrider. It was actually a welcoming sight when we exited our car into the parking lot of the small country church, and the beautiful weather seemed to make the promise of a lovely, unforgettable wedding day.

Well, let me tell you!!! It indeed was unforgettable! In fact, I've been wanting to share with you all how to have your own redn...., I mean.....unforgettable wedding, or please share these tips with a bride-or-groom-to be!

These tips are in order as best as I can remember.

• Planning ahead is not necessary. Just decide you want to get married, and find a preacher! Oh....you may want to order invitations, but be sure to send them out less than a week from the wedding date.
• Rehearsal and decorating the hall the night before? Nah!!! Go CAMPING instead!!! I'm sure you have an aunt out there somewhere who would be happy to hang streamers all by herself-no biggie!
• Actually, that same aunt would probably be good for a few other tasks as well, such as doing her best to round up a recording of the bridal march around the same time all of the guests are arriving. She is also great at orchestrating the order of the wedding proceedings, since, you know, you didn't have rehearsal.
• Be sure the bride is not seen before the wedding. If you are the bride, make sure your mom has salads to make just before the wedding(for the reception), so that she is 45 minutes late. Your guests probably won't mind.
• Tell your usher to wear bling, ultra baggy pants and a long T-shirt. Have your wonderful aunt teach him how to seat people...as he's seating people.
• OH!!! VERY IMPORTANT!!! Don't have any music picked out for the ceremony. And pick a MAN to run the tape player--preferably one who doesn't know when the bridal march ends, and the processional begins. That is the only music you will need, but the preacher may ask someone in the audience if they'd like to sing something.
• Another VERY IMORTANT tip! Make it required that all bridesmaids have at least one tatoo, preferably on her back. If one of the bridesmaids doesn't have her own tatoo(check her calf too), they do sell fake ones that will wash off.
• After the bride walks down the aisle, since you have preferably picked a man who does not know when the bridal march ends, appoint one of the bridesmaids to stand on her tiptoes and give him the "slit throat" signal after the processional has begun playing.
• After the preacher reads his scripture, and speaks to the soon-to-be married couple during the ceremony, about love and commitment, and you exchange vows, and are now as one, have him announce the reception before he tells the groom that he may kiss the bride. This is a better time for the announcement, since everyone will be attentive and waiting for the new couple to kiss.

So there you have it! My tips for an unforgettable wedding. I've even shared them early enough so you can begin to plan your beautiful day!

Oh wait! I forgot!!! That's the EASY part--no planning required!

Oh, and there is one more tip that I got from this wedding:

• The bride MUST look beautiful(and she did!)! You want everyone to remember the bride, and hopefully forget the rest!

Did I mention the reception ettiquette? There isn't much, but just be sure that you shove the cake so hard in each other's faces, that you leave the guests wondering if divorce proceedings will begin on Monday. ;)